Hesitantly, I publish this….
A year ago, even a month ago, I wasn’t in such a mindset to really even consider such things. I’m starting to learn more to live loved by Jesus and that’s doing crazy things to my heart. I’m beginning to hurt for those that are being hurt by rigid stances and religious rules that promote hate. I told Jesus a couple of weeks ago that I don’t really love others like he does, asking him to help me out, and my heart has been tenderized immensely since then in unexpected ways. I know many around me may not notice this going on, other than me being even more contemplatively quiet. The majority of my thoughts and emotions tend to be turned inward and the primary way I can organize them to be understood externally is through writing.
So…I’m providing this opportunity for anyone who feels the need to direct hatred at someone else, for any reason, to take it out on me instead. Use the contact form to say whatever you need to say. I will keep your info through the contact form private (appropriate comments below will still be displayed). I will not report you or retaliate against you. If you need an outlet but cannot bring that hatred to Jesus, then take it out on me if you must.
Call me demonic, baby killer, gay-lover, heretic, backslider, or whatever term you may feel like assigning to me or someone else. Jesus was called similar things so it will be good company. With Jesus’ help, I will absorb that hate.
I’m not trying to be a martyr. I’m not trying to be self-righteous. I’m not trying to equate myself with Jesus’ sacrifice. I’m only trying to bear the cross it seems Jesus wants me to take up—to be a shield for those who don’t know the love of Jesus because they’ve only ever been shown the hatred of a cold, loveless religion. I don’t know what else to do. It hurts my heart either way, so I’ll try do what I can for the benefit of those who know no other way to deal with it.
There’s far too much hatred in the world and the circle just keeps going. In many cases, this is propagated by Christians. We are called to be the salt and light of this world. I will do what I can to fulfill that because of the amazing love Jesus has shown for me and that he has for everyone.
There is only one thing I ask in return—let the hatred towards others end there. Say everything that you need to me. Empty yourself of hatred so that you can learn to receive Jesus’ love and show others that instead. Use any vulgarity and slur that you need to. It doesn’t matter who you are, whether my best friend or a complete stranger, I will not hold any of it against you. I will attempt to absorb it and let Jesus dissipate it.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want this. I’m no glutton for punishment. But it seems this type of love is the only thing that changes the world for the better.
To those who are being hated, hold on. Don’t let that hatred do harm to you or others. If you’ve never known Jesus as love, I’m telling you he is and he can remove all of that pain. I will do my best to redirect that hatred to myself to prove it, even though it could kill me.
Perhaps this is just a small step, especially compared to what Jesus took on himself. Maybe this is the only thing God wants me to do in this regard or perhaps this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I know that this might not sound like me. I know this is asking something strange. I pray I know what I’m asking for here. God please heal the brokenness and hatred of this world. Help me to follow you Jesus…no matter what the cost may be.