I’m beginning to realize how little I know

I don’t say this to degrade myself. As I learn, and the closer I grow to God, I realize how infinitesimal my knowledge is. The more meaning I find in the Bible, the more I realize how much more there is to realize. I read a few sentences of a passage today that I’ve heard a few hundred times. That passage so wholly blew my mind that I had to stop and think for a bit to get my bearings again. This happens more and more often lately.
It’s become so beautiful that I have to strive to explain it in words. It’s the extraordinary in the ordinary.
It’s a transcendent thought or glimpse that I have that I’m able to hold onto for just a few seconds longer now that use to flee in a millisecond.
It’s seeing someone I use to despise and thinking of the beauty of their journey that has brought them to that very point in their life.
It’s feeling God’s presence in the worse moments because of the Holy Spirit’s comfort.
It’s catching glimpses of Jesus in someone else and feeling him resonating from deep inside my spirit.
It’s hearing God say, “I did that” in an excited voice to the beauty I witness.
It’s being free in all the ways that I was once bound by human means of control.
It’s being human as a human being—a beautiful collection of dirt, mind, spirit, and Breath.
How do I explain connecting with the Creator? How do I capture my love and joy for him in words? How do I get the beauty from my heart, to my mind, and into words? Is it even possible? It’s like when it makes it to my mind, the beauty is removed. It seems to be that taking such wonder from my heart to press it into cold, hard words makes much of that beauty go “poof.”
Perhaps it’s not something that can be directly captured in writing because when it is, our first response is to mandate and ritualize it and conform it to our definitions of right and wrong. Perhaps this is why the Bible is written like it is, to be pondered and wrestled with in our personal journey—not to be parsed into rules to beat others over the head with. There’s a beauty about the Bible that can’t be dogmatized, for as soon as it is, that beauty is lost.
There’s so much beauty in the journey that every moment can be spiritual, no second is lost to monotony. As I delve deeper, I see more and more how little I know yet how loved we all are.
The amazing thing about living in the Kingdom of God is that no one has to be down so I can be up. No one has to fail so I can succeed. No one has to be poor so I can be rich. Everyone can have as full of a relationship with Jesus as they desire. It’s not about being in competition with our siblings; it’s about helping each other to grow as much spiritually as we are willing to.
May the wonder, joy, beauty, and fascination of God fill you and may you always be joyfully surprised by his working in and around you.
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